I've mulled the idea of starting a blog for some time now.  I just have so much to say -- I've always been the talker, often apologizing for my constant stream of inter dialogue that somehow ends up making me almost like a quarterback calling football audibles (kudos to my mentor and best quarterback of all time - critics can shut it - Peyton Manning).  Much like Peyton, and yet entirely nothing like Peyton, I ramble endlessly about how I am going to orchestrate my next move and what I see around me.  Often, I don't expect or anticipate a response from others.  I just must.get.it.out.  These thoughts cannot stay contained within my own mind.  Besides, if they did, there would never be any room for the constant birth of new thoughts that run around like untamed toddlers trying to escape their cribs. Perhaps this is where I finally, unabashedly disclose the driver behind this constant stream of thoughts - mental illness.  There is no doubt I'm the nuttiest of the nutties, but not because of this.  It doesn't define me, it doesn't limit me.  It makes me better, with more depth and breadth than I could possibly muster on my own.  And I have to admit, I love the constant turning of my mind and the crooked tilt of my head as I look at life.  When properly medicated, my thoughts aren't nearly as rambunctious or tilted.  Somehow over the course of the last 17 years of enduring this disease, I have held onto some of those characteristics which are problematic when not well contained with pharmaceuticals.  I've just learned when it's okay to let them out to play and when they should sit quietly, like well-behaved children.

I'm not sure what the flavor of this blog will finally be or where in my life it will take me.  It could be the past, present or someplace entirely unknown.  It will most certainly contain humor, as that is my BFF in life, but will also share struggles & processes which make absolutely no sense. 

So, there you have it.  Stay tuned if you wish, duck out when it no longer interests you.  No offense, but this blog isn't for you -- it's for me and those untamed thoughts wanting to come out to play.